In which I have a heart attack…well almost

December 2, 2012 Ka'ela Ja'el
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I haven’t been overly well for quite a while, and then a few weeks ago I had a good old fashioned “funny turn”. It involved fainting and prolonged dizziness and a few other symptoms. (Some of which had been around for a while and deliberately ignored.) And led to quite a bit of medical investigating. And some not altogether pleasant results.

Of course, any sensible person would realise they should probably slow down in what they’re doing, but nooo, I’ve never been accused of being sensible. In fact, this seemed to be a trigger into ramping things up. I decided it’d be a fun idea to hold a quiz night, (and it was!) but at the same time I also got talked into increasing my hours at work. Now generally I do around twenty hours a week, and that suits me just fine. I have the weekend, two full week days and two afternoons off. Suddenly my hours are almost double and I wonder my I feel like I’m losing my grip on things?! 

A few years ago I started to live by the One Four Formula {OFF} – 1 thing a day. 4 things a week. Initially it meant I only had the spoons to do one thing a day – shopping, meeting, housework, service, coffee date – with a limit of four things a week. Anything more than that, particularly on a consistent basis, would see me in floods of tears on the couch for days at a stretch.

Over time I’ve been able to increase what I do,but I still kind of hold to the OFF. Now though, it refers to extraneous activities. Things like work, meetings, housework and service don’t really count. Well, not when I’m doing my regular work hours they don’t, at the moment I’m finding they do! and then some. 

What this means is I’m struggling to find time to do the things *I* like. It feels like I haven’t cooked or baked in FOREVER…at least not in a justcoz capacity. I’m battling to catch up with friends and family, and there are a few that I really need to touch base with that I haven’t, and so the guilt from that is also piling on.

I just have to make it through December. There is a light at the end of this tunnel and it’s called JANUARY!

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One Comment Add your own

  • 1. greenspace01  |  December 2, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    Please rest before your body makes you! even tho I only know you from twitter (& lovely cakes at the TPP launch at Continuum) I am concerned for you.
    that’s a big increase in spoon-use, and as there are underlying Health Issues, you already know that you can only stretch yourself so far before it goes sproing back into your face.
    please take care of yourself, by whatever means possible (other than killing people; that can eliminate some stressors, but raises other problems).


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